


Our Own Happy Ending

by Perpetual Motion (perpetfic)



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: M/M, The judge Gallagher episode can be tossed in the trash, brief discussions of very special episode politics, yeah i'm staying mad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-08
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-03-13 11:22:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29277651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/perpetfic/pseuds/Perpetual%20Motion
Summary: Isaiah and Sonny write their own story.
Relationships: Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr./Isaiah Holmes
Comments: 6
Kudos: 37





	Our Own Happy Ending

Isaiah looks at the job listing four times in two days. He thinks about Carlos Hernandez a lot. Thinks about Keane--finally out of office, but the ghosts of possible appeals float heavy throughout the whole office--and he wonders if taking over a bureau is something he actually wants to do. 

He reads it a fifth time as he takes the subway to Sonny's place. They've been dating since shortly after they worked together to free Carlos, Sonny insisting on buying dinner to say thank you, and then looking up at Isaiah shyly at the end of the night as they stood outside the restaurant. 

"I didn't mean to make this a date," Sonny had said. "But it's been a really good night, so if you want to say it _is_ one, I won't disagree."

Isaiah had considered saying something pithy but flirty, but instead, he'd leaned down and kissed Sonny goodnight. Sonny had sighed against his mouth and touched Isaiah lightly through his shirt, and now it's seven months later, and Isaiah has never been more in love in his life. 

He lets himself into Sonny's apartment and pauses before closing the door. Something's not right. It's quiet. No music on the stereo or game on the television. No sounds of Sonny in the kitchen or on the phone. Isaiah hangs up his coat and takes off his shoes and walks down the hall, pausing at the bathroom door. No sound of the shower. He walks into the bedroom, and Sonny's flat on the bed, staring at the ceiling and looking quietly wrecked. 

"Hi," Isaiah says, leaning against the doorframe. Sonny turns and looks at him, and Isaiah can see exhaustion and frustration on his face. "What is it?"

Sonny turns back to stare at the ceiling, and a moment later, he drags his forearm across his eyes. Isaiah idly notes that Sonny's stolen one of his Howard University hoodies, though Isaiah has no recollection of leaving one behind. 

Isaiah steps over to the bed and sits next to Sonny's waist. He presses his hand against Sonny's stomach and rubs his thumb back and forth just under the join of Sonny's ribs. He waits for Sonny to speak. 

"Long week," Sonny says finally. "And I went into the squad to check on a case, and they…" His face twists, and he breathes in with a small shudder. "Same shit, different day."

Isaiah reaches for Sonny's hand and pulls it to his mouth so he can kiss his knuckles. "I'm sorry," he says. Sonny's told him about how the squad wavers between trusting Sonny as their ADA and treating him poorly because he doesn't let them hand him half-ready cases. Isaiah's only met the squad at post-victory drinks, but even then he's seen them take a few shots, complaining that Sonny works them too hard. 

"I'm only doing what Barba and Stone did," Sonny'd said once, the smile on his face not nearly as bright as it should be for a post-victory drink. 

"Yeah, well, you're not them," Amanda had said, and she and Fin had laughed and clinked bottles. 

Isaiah had looked across the table at Benson and waited for her to lead by example, to say something positive about Sonny's work or shush her detectives. But Liv was smiling like everything was fine. 

"You're right," Sonny had replied after a moment-too-long of silence. "I'm nicer."

Amanda and Fin had burst out laughing, talking over each other to assure Sonny that he was _not_. Isaiah had watched Kat--the only person at the table who hadn't known Sonny as anything but an ADA--and he saw her cock her head like she was figuring something out. 

It'd left a bad taste in Isaiah's mouth, the way no one seemed to care that Sonny wasn't laughing along, that he'd asked before--Isaiah had been there on one occasion--for them to just knock it off and stop acting like his need for a properly put together case was a burden. 

"It's been a year," Sonny says, pulling Isaiah away from his less charitable thoughts. "I've been their ADA for a year, and they're still acting like I owe them something."

"I'm sorry," Isaiah says. 

Sonny heaves himself up and leans against Isaiah, kissing Isaiah on the shoulder absently as he sniffles. "I think it's time to give it up," he says. "See about a transfer. It's not uncommon to move after your first year."

"No, it's not," Isaiah replies, reaching up to cup the back of Sonny's head. He kisses his forehead. 

"I love them all," Sonny says, "but I think it'll be easier to keep them as friends if I'm not working with them any longer."

"Are you going to tell them why you're leaving?" 

Sonny shrugs. "I don't know. I think I'd rather focus on finding a new spot, first."

Isaiah thinks about the job listing he's kept re-reading. "Do you want to stay in Manhattan?" he asks. 

"I don't know. I'll probably just need to go where there's an opening."

"There's a few spots in Brooklyn you'd be good for," Isaiah says. "I--" He shifts to pull his phone from his pocket and unlocks it. "I was looking at a listing in Brooklyn for myself, actually."

"Yeah?" Sonny asks. "It'd be easier to see each other, working in the same borough."

Isaiah swallows the urge to ask Sonny if he wants to move in together. He's been thinking about asking for a couple of weeks, but now's not the time. "It would," he agrees instead. "We'd both have to get hired, though."

Sonny holds out his hand for Isaiah's phone and reads the job listing. "Oh, you can nail this," he says to Isaiah. "You've got the years of experience, the volunteer hours, the personal interest. They'd be stupid not to take you."

"Thank you," Isaiah says. He takes his phone back and maneuvers to one of the other listings he'd seen. "There's a spot in the Brooklyn SVU office. One in Vice, too. You'd be a good fit for either. The Vice one might even be a better fit for you. The Bureau Chief is looking for someone who wants to be progressive in how cases are handled."

Sonny takes Isaiah's phone when he holds it out again. "Progressive Vice? You sure you weren't playing Mad Libs?"

Isaiah chuckles and stands, quickly stripping out of his suit as Sonny reads the listing, scrolls up, then reads it again. "Did we have dinner plans?" he asks. 

"No," Sonny says. "I was just going to heat up some soup I made the other night in the Instant Pot. I grabbed a baguette on the way home. We can toss it in the oven to warm it up. Nothing fancy, but it'll be filling."

Isaiah slips into a pair of sweatpants, only realizing once they're on and hitting him noticeably above the ankles that they're Sonny's. He makes sure to pull one of his own T-shirts from the drawer Sonny'd cleared for him two months ago. Chilly ankles aren't a problem, but Sonny's shirts are too tight in the shoulders. He pauses after he pulls the shirt over his head. Sonny's wrapped both arms around Isaiah's waist and is nuzzling his shoulders. 

"Thank you," Sonny murmurs. "For listening. For being here. I love you." 

Isaiah curls his hand around Sonny's forearm and squeezes gently. "I'm glad I can help. I love you, too."

They stand like that for another few moments, simply drinking each other in. Isaiah lets out a slow breath, relaxing his shoulders and his back and sways a little, Sonny immediately moving with him. 

"What are you thinking?" Sonny asks quietly.

"I'm happy," Isaiah says. "Just thinking that I'm happy."

Sonny hums in agreement and presses his cheek to the back of Isaiah's shoulder. "Me, too," he says. "Even on the hard days."

"Yeah," Isaiah agrees.

They pull away from each other slowly, and Sonny keeps his fingers pressed to Isaiah's back as they walk down the hall to the kitchen. Sonny sets up the soup to reheat while Isaiah slices the baguette and lays the bread on a baking sheet to pop in the oven. They eat on the couch while arguing with Sports Center about baseball, and they go to bed early, Isaiah wrapped around Sonny, the comforter kicked to the end of the bed because they both run hot. 

*

The Civil Rights Bureau Chief interview and the three positions Sonny is interested in all have the same closing date. 

"I'm going to tweak my resume once a week and ignore it otherwise," Sonny says to Isaiah as they talk about it two days later. "If I spend too much time on it, I'm going to talk myself out of it."

"Whatever you choose to brag about on your resume will be enough to get you an interview for any of those positions," Isaiah replies. "And once your foot is in the door, they'll be happy to have you."

Sonny gives Isaiah a small, shy smile. The one he seems to reserve for receiving praise. Isaiah is charmed by it every time it shows up. Sonny doesn't lack surety in himself, but the fact he is so naturally humble makes Isaiah feel warm inside.

"I'd say the same to you, but I know it's different for a Bureau Chief position," Sonny says. 

Isaiah huffs a laugh before taking a sip of coffee. Sonny's looking at him like he has no doubt Isaiah will walk away with the job, and Isaiah loves the juxtaposition of Sonny's confidence in his abilities against the truth of applying for something as high up as Bureau Chief.

"When you get it," Sonny continues, the slight slant of his smile telling Isaiah that Sonny knows Isaiah is dying to point out it's bad luck to make it sound certain, "we'll go out for a great dinner. Surf and Turf with a proper iceberg wedge and some ridiculous creme brulee flavor for dessert."

"You'd stay quiet about the unholiness of flavored creme brulee for me?" Isaiah teases. 

"Only for you," Sonny says with a smile that is both completely sincere and a tad sarcastic. 

Isaiah can't think of any words to respond that aren't just a messy declaration of devotion that may be a step too far with where they are in their relationship. He decides to stay quiet and flash Sonny a smile instead. Sonny smiles back, unconcerned Isaiah is without words, and Isaiah thinks, again, about asking him to move in together.

*

Isaiah preps for the Civil Rights Bureau interview the way he preps for everything: single-mindedly but on a schedule. He knows from experience that spending too much time on prep in one go will only burn him out. So, he goes back to his place three nights a week, sets a timer for an hour, and does his research. He reads recent case law and tracks down blogs that are discussing where the next changes need to be made versus where they are made. He watches news clips and reads Twitter threads and spends time on Facebook trying not to yell at the utter amount of misinformation getting handed around. 

When the timer dings, he gives himself five minutes to finish. He leaves tabs open and bookmarks things he wants to re-read. He finishes videos by conspiracy theorists and racists on Tik Tok and makes quick notes about how their view could (unfortunately) shape the laws to come or weaken the laws they have. 

Some nights, Isaiah works and decompresses alone. Other nights, Sonny comes over after Isaiah texts him to tell him he's finished, and they talk and have dinner. On particularly good nights, Sonny manages to come over while Isaiah is working and when the timer dings and Isaiah finishes his cool down, he walks into his living room to Sonny reading on his couch or walks into his kitchen to find Sonny ten minutes away from serving dinner. 

"You keep this up, I might make you stay here all the time," Isaiah says one night after reading entirely too much on attempts to take away protections for queer people in the workplace. It hits him right between the ribs, reminds him of his years as a scholarship kid. Walking into his kitchen to see his highly successful boyfriend making dinner while waiting for him to finish prepping for a Bureau Chief job interview makes him feel soft and bruised, like all his old wounds are only mostly healed and Sonny's here to help him move through the last of those phantom pains. 

"Hey, I'll be over as much as you want," Sonny replies, turning his head for a quick kiss. He tastes like white wine and shallots and expensive cheese. 

Isaiah makes the kiss linger, using the moment to fully clear his head of everything he's read tonight. He thinks about a couple of weeks ago, the urge to ask Sonny to move in together, and this is the moment. This is absolutely the moment. 

He steps away from Sonny and steals a sip from his wine glass, leaning against the counter as Sonny opens the oven and checks on the vegetables he has roasting. He waits for Sonny to close the oven before speaking. "I like having you over," he says. "And I like going over to your place."

Sonny looks at him, still in a way that speaks of quiet excitement and a bit of shivery hope. "Yeah, same."

Isaiah can't help his fond grin at Sonny's inability to hide what he's clearly hoping will happen next. "Do you want to look at places? Something in Brooklyn since we both seem aimed there?"

Sonny's smile absolutely leaps across his face. "Yeah," he says, bouncing on his toes. He crowds Isaiah against the counter and kisses him over and over. "Man, I've been wanting to ask, but I didn't want to seem like I was rushing into things."

Isaiah chuckles against Sonny's mouth and accepts another handful of small kisses. "You rush into everything," he says. "It's one of the things I like about you."

Sonny's eyes go sharp, briefly calculating some action or plan that Isaiah doesn't get the chance to ask about before Sonny's kissing him again. "I like everything about you," he says to Isaiah. "I _love_ everything about you."

It's Isaiah who kisses Sonny over and over this time. It's impossible not to with so much warmth and love and care being given to him so freely. "You are not at all who I expected to find," he says after they've parted because Sonny needs to stir something on the stove. "I'm glad about that."

Sonny makes a curious noise. "Who'd you expect to find?"

Isaiah shrugs. "I don't know, honestly. It's changed over the years as I've gotten more comfortable with myself and worked my way up to where I am."

"Is this where I find out you had a trophy husband stage?" 

Isaiah barks a laugh. "Maybe? I don't know. I did wonder if I'd have to marry up or marry a woman."

Sonny pulls a face. "Really? You thought you'd have to have a beard?"

Isaiah shrugs and pulls down another wine glass so he'll stop stealing drinks from Sonny's. "It was what some people did at the time," he says. "Especially in the Ivy Leagues. The nineties looked very progressive on television, but the real world wasn't as kind."

Sonny snorts. "None of that nineties shit aged well," he replies. "Lifetime movies. Very Special Episodes."

Isaiah laughs quietly as memories flash through his mind. "I was part of the Gay-Straight Alliance at Hudson. We read up on tv listings every week and organized Very Special Drinking Games for those episodes. You could get fucking loaded in twenty-two minutes."

"Gay-Straight Alliance is as outdated as any Very Special Episode," Sonny says, and then he's laughing and shaking his head, the smile on his face brightening his eyes when he looks at Isaiah. 

Isaiah's laughs in response, Sonny's amusement wonderfully contagious. "We should look up a few of the classics after dinner and yell at the television," he says. 

"That sounds fun," Sonny replies. He laughs again, then taps his spoon against the pan. "Grab the plates. Dinner's ready."

*

The TV listings fail them for a run of Very Special Episodes, but Sonny finds a series of playlists of "best of" scenes on YouTube that stretches back to the 70s, and they end up yelling in amused outrage almost immediately.

"THEY DIDN'T EVEN SMOKE IT!" Sonny yells after a series of clips of various teenagers being terrified to be in the same room as a joint. 

"Oh, god, here comes the gay-people-exist clips," Isaiah says, covering his face and groaning as a titlecard comes up and labels the next set of clips "LGBTQIA ‘Acceptance’".

"Those are some huge quote marks," Sonny says. "HOLY SHIT," he yells a couple of minutes later at the end of the first clip-a man coming out to his sister, and her throwing a glass of water in his face while yelling "RELEASE HIM SATAN" to the uproarious pleasure of the studio audience.

"None of these are gonna be painless," Isaiah says. 

"I remember a few from when I was in junior high and high-" Sonny's mouth presses shut as the first clip fades into the second. "Oh, no," he whispers in awed horror. "I remember this one."

Isaiah doesn't recognize the actors or the show, but he knows a family sitcom set when he sees one. 

"I'm gay," says the boy who has been refusing all the unsubtle advances of the teenage girl protagonist.

"But we haven't even kissed!" the girl yells in reply, and the audience howls with laughter. 

Sonny howls too, though it sounds more like it's from pain. He falls sideways on the couch, head landing in Isaiah's lap. "Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god."

"Are you realizing this scene was your queer awakening?" Isaiah asks, laughing at the way Sonny's face is screwed up like he wishes he could unsee everything. 

"No. Oh my god. Oh my god. No. I just realized this was the first episode of anything I saw that had queer rep."

"Let me guess," Isaiah says, managing to stay deadpan through sheer force of will, "you figured if you kissed girls, you couldn't be queer." Sonny's face goes very, very red, and Isaiah couldn't have kept a straight face if he'd tried. He throws himself against the back of the couch, laughing until he cries.

"It wasn't my fault!" Sonny says through his own laugh. "No one was ever bi in any of these!"

Isaiah can't answer for several seconds, still laughing. Sonny pokes him in the stomach, and then in the ribs, making his dwindling laughter restart instantly. Sonny's pleased grin tells Isaiah that's exactly why he's doing it. He catches Sonny's hand the next time he comes in for a poke and brings it up to his mouth, kissing each of Sonny's fingertips. "Marry me," he says. 

Sonny goes still, slipping from giddy to stunned in a moment. Isaiah only manages to keep moving because it's easy to simply keep pressing kisses to Sonny's fingers. 

"Are you--" Sonny blinks a few times, then pushes himself until he's upright and basically in Isaiah's lap. "I mean, did you mean it?"

Isaiah swallows and tries to find his words. He clears his throat, then shivers when Sonny curls his fingers over his hand. 

"If you didn't mean to say it, we can ignore it," Sonny says. "But...I wouldn't say no."

"...wouldn't say no," Isaiah says quietly. "As in wouldn't slowly stop talking to me because I moved too fast or like you've been thinking about it, too?"

Sonny glances towards his briefcase, then looks back at Isaiah. "You know how you were saying you loved that I move fast?"

Isaiah glances at Sonny's briefcase as well. "There's a ring in your briefcase."

"Yeah."

"How long have you had it?"

"Couple of weeks."

"Why would you--"

"You just impulsively proposed to me. Do you really need me to explain why I bought a ring?"

Isaiah shakes his head, stunned at this moment he's having. Something he could only vaguely imagine when he was young and uncertain and a little scared of simply existing. "Can I see it?" he asks. 

Sonny leaps up from the couch and trips over his feet as he hurries to his briefcase. He comes back, the ring box clutched tight in one hand and drops down hard next to Isaiah. "Okay, so it's not super flashy or anything. It's just… a ring."

Isaiah touches Sonny's hand, and he loosens his hold on the box. Isaiah takes it from his hand and opens it. It's a gold band. No adornments, just a classic gold band. Isaiah takes the ring out of the box and lays it in his palm. There's an inscription:

_Let us mutually pardon each other_

It's Voltaire, of course. Taken from a longer quote that Isaiah has said to Sonny in jest more than once when they've argued over little things or been annoyed with each other. Sonny's started quoting it back to him in the last few months. 

_We are full of weaknesses and errors; let us mutually pardon each other our follies -- it is the first law of nature._

Isaiah looks up and meets Sonny's gaze. Sonny looks hopeful and worried and happy and nervous all at once. His emotions rolling across his face in that open way he has that has always caught Isaiah right behind the ribs. "Yes," he says. There's no other answer. 

Sonny blinks, then jerks, then stares hard at Isaiah. "What?"

"Yes," Isaiah says. "I'll marry you."

Sonny yelps and lunges forward, catching Isaiah in a hug so fierce they fall flat on the couch and nearly fall onto the floor. "Holy shit," Sonny murmurs. "Best accident I've ever had."

Isaiah laughs, full and open and presses the ring to Sonny's mouth. Sonny kisses it, then takes it from Isaiah's hand, sitting up awkwardly to slip it onto Isaiah's finger before diving in for a kiss.

Isaiah thinks of every Very Special Episode he ever watched. The ways they focused on how queers were maligned and people should be _nice_. How their stories were never their own. How it was about making straight people comfortable at the idea of their existence. There were never purely joyful moments like this, Sonny warm and alive in Isaiah's arms, murmuring endearments between kisses. Isaiah, so shocked but so happy, feeling like he's going to overflow as he kisses back and tries to wrap his head around everything that's just happened. 

The Very Special Episodes, they never really had happy endings. Tolerance, yes. But love? Ecstasy? A sense of true belonging and rightness that who you are is enough? That the people who love you do so without question? 

"I love you so much," Isaiah says. He holds Sonny's face in his hands and feels the way his face moves as he smiles. 

"I love you, too," Sonny replies and ducks down to kiss him again. 

*

"What is most important to you in regards to civil rights?"

It's two weeks later. Sonny's already on the second round of interviews for the ADA position for Brooklyn Vice. This is Isaiah's first interview, not surprising given the difference in the levels of the jobs they're both going for. 

"Teaching people that it's more than just tolerance and vague ideas about being better to marginalized communities," Isaiah says. "We need to use the law as a teaching point. Make sure that the people of Brooklyn--and hopefully beyond that as we enact change--understand that these laws come from systematic failures caused by white supremacy, classism, and other types of inequality."

"And how would you do that?" asks the second interviewer, her eyes narrowed in interest from Isaiah's previous answer.

"Community outreach. Education. Dedicating the work of the office to listening and responding to the real fears and real injustices that people face both as private citizens and as people who may have criminal records. When we help someone expunge their record or assist a community in changing an unjust ordinance, we make sure to include the reasons why it shouldn't have been difficult to do when we release information to the press."

The interviewers nod and share a glance. Isaiah takes the moment of quiet to adjust his posture in his chair and take a sip of water. 

"We're curious why you'd want to move to Brooklyn," the first interviewer says. "You've been in Queens for your whole career."

"Well, I was born and raised in Queens," Isaiah says. "It was easy to stay close to home, and I've had a very positive experience in all my years with the DA's office there. I'm happy to move for two reasons. One, I believe I can be a real asset to the Civil Rights Bureau, and you're the ones who have a position I'm qualified for. Two, my fiance is interviewing for a position in Brooklyn as well, and it'll just be easier for both of us to be part of the community here."

"Well, good luck to your fiance," the second interviewer says. "Hopefully, they won't end up out on Staten Island instead."

Isaiah chuckles along with the joke. "Well, he's from Staten Island, so it wouldn't be too difficult for him to adjust."

They all laugh together a little more naturally, and fold back into the rest of the questions. 

*

Sonny comes over that night, waving his phone as he lets himself into Isaiah's apartment. "They offered me the job," he says. "Brooklyn Vice ADA."

"Congratulations," Isaiah says, pulling Sonny in for a hug and a kiss. "I'm not surprised they snapped you up as fast as possible."

"I just…" Sonny shakes his head, looking amazed. "They want me to start in a month. I'm gonna give notice tomorrow and figure out how to tell the squad and plan to take two weeks off and just try and relax."

"I have a vague memory of knowing how to do that," Isaiah replies. He smiles at Sonny's laugh. It's more laughter than his dumb joke deserves, but it's exactly as much laughter as Sonny deserves to have with such good news. 

"I thought I'd do some apartment scouting too," Sonny adds. "I can go look at places during regular people hours and report back."

"I like that," Isaiah says. "Let's make a list of what we really want over dinner."

"I mean, I've got you," Sonny says. "I'm doing okay."

Isaiah kisses Sonny again and feels the tiny weight of the ring he'd slipped into his pocket after picking it up from the jeweler an hour ago. He'll propose while they make their list. Maybe be cheesy about it. Say something about how the list is missing one thing. Give Sonny a silly, sappy engagement story that will always make him smile when he thinks about it. Like what Sonny gave him. Like what they'll keep giving each other, he knows, for as long as they possibly can.

*

Isaiah gets his own job offer a week later as he and Sonny scroll through apartment listings as they sit on the couch in pajamas with a Mets game playing quietly in the background. He accepts and has to bite back a laugh when Sonny gives him a gleeful kiss on the cheek as he signs off the call. 

"I knew it," Sonny says. "I knew they knew you'd be perfect for it."

"Well, good thing you knew," Isaiah says, placing his hand over Sonny's on his chest. Their rings clank together, and Isaiah feels like he's so happy he'll never be disappointed or sad or scared again. "What do you think about getting a cat?"

Isaiah is not surprised when Sonny immediately opens the listings for the Brooklyn Humane Society and navigates to the page for adoptable cats. He sinks deeper into the couch, leaning even more against Sonny as Sonny starts to read off stats. Sonny flashes him a quick smile, pecks him on the forehead, and murmurs a congratulations against his skin. It's a perfect celebration. The two of them planning their life, simply being and living and getting their happily ever after.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to mgarner for the beta!
> 
> I planned this to be a rewrite of everything that made me yell while watching "The Long Arm of the Witness," but as I worked on it, I wanted that episode thrown away even more, so I ignored it. I don't find any value in having queer characters and BIPOC characters have slurs yelled at them to prove an alleged rapist is a bad person. I don't find any value in making a gay, POC actor stand on his mark and have those things yelled at him. Or have a Black actor sit and take a lynching reference to the face when there is no immediate check-in from any other character in the scene. Or an Italian man be called a racial slur. In short, I hated the whole fucking mess. So, I wrote this.
> 
> There is an important, needed story to be written about Isaiah and the ways his actions in that episode are chosen based on his sexual and racial identities. It's not my story to write, but I look forward to whoever does.


End file.
